PAWA 2023: Als Ich Fortging
This article is published in collaboration with Performance Art Week Aotearoa 2023. Showcasing performance artists from across Aotearoa and the world, Performance Art Week Aotearoa brings a stellar line-up of performance art works, workshops, discussion and happenings to Wellington city. Rat World is excited to platform a range of critical writing on the events from the year’s festival.
Content Warning: mentions of death and suicide
We hold out the palms of our hands small colourful rocks are placed at the centre, like perhaps what you might find at the bottom of a fish tank trying to trick the fish into thinking it isn’t captive, I am still in my world of in-between - the person next to me puts them in their mouth to test, and spits them back out, which is after all how we find out what things are when we are babes. It isn’t food.
The mother stands up and with certainty and holding tells us all “come on”
We are connected by a string.
A chord from us to her.
The mother leads us outside.
We follow, slowly and carefully, we need to move slow and careful.
please move slowly and carefully
Please
Move
Slow
And
Careful
And then it happens a sound I would know anywhere.
A sound I knew before I knew of any knowing
You can always tell a mothers cry
A wail penetrates my body, I am here there is no denying.
I am so sorry I am so sorry I am so sorry I am so sorry
It is okay
We are moving, a large string on bodies, weaving from inside to outside and then we find it.
Earth.
The small rocks are put on burning ash, smoke tangled with the mothers prayer floats above us.
This a container, we are inside it now.
We didn’t no we were coming here, we often don’t know.
The mother cries and cries and cries.
And I - I’m so sorry. I am so sorry
We are by the grave yard, this is a collective funeral this is a collective grief.
this could have been my name
I am so sorry.
My son took his own life the mother says
Please
Move
Slow
And
Careful
Thank you the mother says
I’m so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry
We begin placing names in the space between us
Name suicide summer
Name suicide I miss him
Name suicide I'm sorry
Name silence
Name
The smoke and names dance together and float up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up
And we cry
And cry
And cry
And cry
And cry
Please move slow and careful
And, stutter
And, breathe
And, you’re okay
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Jazmine Rose Phillips a performance Artist, Musician and writer. They seek to embrace the grit and beauty of the human experience. Their works aim to evoke and embody transparency and healing. Often motivated by the destruction we all take part in as humans. Jazmine has released 2 albums under Moniker Jazmine Mary and in 2022 Won best Independent Debut award for their Album The Licking of a Tangerine. Jazmine has performed their works in Galleries across Aotearoa, Melbourne and India. Most recently a season at the basement Theatre of “Their feet did not touch the ground” a performance highlighting the experiences and human rights violations detained refugees face currently in Australia.
This piece was commissioned by Performance Art week Aotearoa with support from Wellington City Council, and was curated and edited by Sasha Francis. Click here to check out more about the 2023 Festival.